Perhaps the greatest thing we’ve all learned during the past two years is to develop a true appreciation for pleasing ourselves.
Sometimes, that kind of self-entertainment comes in the form of watching hour after hour of Tiger King, The Handmaid's Tale and Game of Thrones, while simultaneously attempting to bake sourdough bread.
But as mind-numbing as a Netflix binge might be, it’s never a substitute for the real and true human art of self-pleasure. You know, as in Riding Solo, Celebrating Palm Sunday, Lone Rangering, Orbiting Venus, Finding Nemo, Manual Override, Playing Five On One…
In case you’re still not clear on where we’re going here, we’ll just come right out and say it; masturbation.
Yes, it’s a word that can sound quite clinical and cold. But as most of us already knew, and many new converts who used their forced isolation to explore and learn about their bodies happily found out, self-pleasure is one of the greatest gifts we humans have been endowed with. Many of us couldn’t have survived these tough times without it. (And why would we want to!?)
The ability to bring yourself into a state of orgasmic pleasure not only feels amazing AF, but it has countless benefits as well. The most obvious advantage, of course, is that you don’t need to wait forever for that special someone to come along to help you enjoy mind blowing sex. Once you know what you like, you are in total control, you set the terms and conditions and nobody can ever take that away from you. That’s empowering.
Then there are the many health benefits that cum from experiencing explosive orgasms that only you know how to administer. From reducing stress and anxiety to helping you get a better night’s sleep, to improving your moods, those mind-bending self-service detonations of erotica are the gifts that keep on giving.
Get this. Orgasms can help reduce back pain, they can boost your immune system, improve circulation and even help reduce body inflammation. Did you know that orgasming can help you stay young? Every time you cum, or even get sexually excited, the levels of the anti-aging hormones DHEA increase in your body. Gut busting orgasms can even make your skin shinier. It’s true. Orgasming releases oxytocin, which reduces cortisol. In excess, cortisol can increase oil (sebum) production, which can clog pores, leading to inflammation and breakouts.
Those that have taken their self-pleasure game to the highest levels, however, know that riding solo is not something that always cums easy.(Pun definitely intended.) Self-service sex is truly something to revere. So with that in mind, cum with us as we offer you seven ways to help get yourself in the mood so you can get off like the pro you were always meant to be.
Embrace Those Nasty Thoughts
Before anything, understand that those freaky, nasty, sexy thoughts that have been floating around in your brain are perfectly natural. They represent the normal primal animal instincts that have gotten us all here in the first place. Don’t push them off to one corner of your mind and ignore them. Embrace them, cherish them, let them live in your brain rent free.
Then figure out what turns you on. Maybe it’s a certain smell, something that somebody said to you, a certain style of porn, a crush you may have, a picture you saw on the internet, or a fantasy you have. Discover what you like, then seek out that image, or smell or fantasy and let your mind, and fingers, run free.
Build Your Pleasure Palace
A Michelin starred chef has his well appointed and fully stocked kitchen. An artist has his studio with the proper light and the best paints and materials to execute perfection on canvas. When it comes to riding solo, think like a pro would in any creative endeavor.
Your home is your sanctuary and it’s also going to be your pleasure palace. Add some mood lighting. Get a high quality Bluetooth speaker to play your favorite music. Keep some stock of your favorite wine or beer. Install a tall mirror so you can look at your spectacular naked body while you turn yourself on. And don’t forget the icing on this erotic cake: #LubeLife water based lubricant.
Remember, the urge to get off can strike at any time, and you want to be ready. Equip your abode with the right tools to get the job done right.
Go On A Date With Yourself
Now that you have all the tools at the ready, put them to good use. Take yourself on a date right in the comfort of your own home. Put on your sexiest clothes, pour yourself a drink, turn on the mood lighting and watch a few episodes of the raunchiest series you can find. As you get more and more relaxed the rest will cum naturally.
Revisit Some Of Your Old Sexts
Have you ever sexted somebody? Go back and re-read those messages. Even if you long ago moved on from your former partner, you may find that your daring and naughty messages surprise you. And still turn you on. Did you take a nude of yourself and send it to someone? Sometimes seeing yourself nude inside a WhatsApp message thread can be the ultimate turn on. “Wow,” you will no doubt say to yourself, “that’s some freaky shit I did.”
Take A Long, Slow Erotic Shower
Don’t just hop in and out of the shower like you’re late for work. Take your time. Lather yourself with nicely scented liquid soap. Let your soapy hands explore every crevice of your body. There is simply nothing quite like a wet, wild and slippery self-massage. If you have a bathtub even better. If not, be careful. Climaxing while standing in the shower can be fraught with danger.
Keep Plenty Of #LubeLife Water Based Lubricant Handy
It wasn’t Einstein who said it, but surely some wise sage uttered these timeless words: “Lube is to sex as salt is to food. It has the power to make everything feel (or taste) a lot better,"
We know what you’re thinking. When it comes to sex toys, lube is one that is generally used when you have a partner with you. Well think again! Even for self service sex, lube can’t be beat, and #LubeLife’s toy lube is the perfect complement to your favorite sex toy. Let’s face it, those fingers and palms can sometimes get a little rough on those sensitive body parts, especially if you’ve been trying to climax for more than a few minutes. And as you build up the excitement, the lube will take your session to the outer limits of the universe.
Try Some Audio Porn
Did you ever notice how sometimes porn images and videos can be so in your face, that they don’t do the trick the way they used to? That’s why audio porn makes for a great alternative to get you in the mood. Riding solo requires an explicit imagination and imagination is exactly what you need to use when listening to porn. A popular Tumblr site called Audio Porn features real audio of people that recorded themselves having sex. There’s no names or pictures. You simply hear moans, groans and primal shouts of someone having sex or masturbating.
You could also opt for something a bit more professional like Dipsea, a website that features actors telling professionally produced audio tales of erotica, sex, forbidden love and more.
Just remember, riding solo is a time-honored art that needs to be cultivated and practiced for optimum enjoyment. Never stop learning and exploring. You’ll definitely make the Lone Ranger proud.
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